Calvin, 18, is a college freshman and active in his church choir. He said that he experiences the most pressure to have sex from members of the opposite sex. “In high school, I decided to have sex, just to try it. I felt bad later, when I thought about what the Bible said. I’ve prayed, but I still don’t feel forgiven.”
He adds, “I want to have control over my sexual behavior and to not have to feel bad about it. But I don’t know how to make that happen.”
Will God forgive Christians like Calvin who had sex before marriage? The answer is yes.
Do You Know God designed SEX to Be Enjoyed In The Confines Of Marriage?
Although the immediate answer is simple, let me also say a bit more. God created sex and declared it, “good” and the gift of sex can only be enjoyed in the confines of marriage.
The Bible says, “From the beginning of creation, God ‘made them male and female’” (Genesis 1:27, Mark 10:6-8 ESV). It goes on to declare, “‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’” (Mark 10:6-8, Genesis 2:24).
In fact, God tells us in the very first chapter of the Bible “to be fruitful and multiply.” In other words, have lots of sex and enjoy each other.
But what does the bible says about sex before marriage?
Apostle Paul teaching in 1 Corinthians 6:
Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? Certainly not! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For “the two,” He says, “shall become one flesh.” But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him. Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s. – 1 Corinthians 6:15-20 Kjv.
Just as you have read those scriptures above, he that has sex with a harlot (prostitute) becomes one body with her. And since she has had multiple partners that became one with her, you become one with all of them. By committing fornication you are taking what belongs to Christ and giving it to whoredom.
This scripture does not apply just to harlots, it applies to everyone.This is why Apostle Paul stated the following,
“lest, when I come again, my God will humble me among you, and I shall mourn for many who have sinned before and have not repented of the uncleanness, fornication, and lewdness which they have practiced”.2 Corinthians 12:21
He refers to this behavior as uncleanness, God speaks strongly against fornication throughout the Bible. It is not a gray area that He tip-toes around. There are numerous passages that forbid fornication. “But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints;” Ephesians 5:3 .
God wants us to trust him with our sex lives
God desires for our hearts to be oriented toward his will.
Like a compass pointed firmly north, God wants our hearts directed toward, and firmly on, him. For those of us who have given our lives over to him, he offers his unending grace and forgiveness for all we have done or will do that is counter to his will. This includes having sex before marriage.
You may remember the Apostle Paul’s lament: “For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do — this I keep on doing,” (Rom. 7:19). You may feel the same way when you think about choices you have made in the past.
But we can’t forget that Paul later says, “Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Rom. 7:25). Praise God that he knows that we struggle with following his will and that he offers his strength, presence, and the presence of other Christians to encourage us and keep us accountable to live godly lives.
Go and live a forgiven life
So, now that you know God will forgive you, what do you do? Paul asks, should we keep on doing things against God’s will so that we can see more of his grace? Of course not! Instead, consider the following:
- Accept God’s forgiveness. See yourself through God’s eyes. He forgives your sin, and removes it as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12).
- Forgive yourself. Knowing you have God’s forgiveness, you can be free from condemnation, even your own. Living within this freedom, you can love and serve God and others without carrying the pain and guilt of the past.
- Allow God to restore you. Seek relationships with other Christians who support your desire to remain abstinent until marriage. Avoid circumstances and situations that may make it difficult to make a choice to stay abstinent and focus on activities that build up your relationship with God. Remember, it was for freedom that Christ set us free (Gal. 5:1), so go and live a forgiven life!
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